Skipping The Surface

The ‘Man’ Crush

The ‘Man’ Crush……what is it? I’ve thought about this after hearing some of my good male friends claim their undying love or desire to be a specific male. Obviously they’ve all been pretty heterosexual conversations, (stating they respect or ‘dig’ someone) but it made me think…..If their said male was a female, would you date them? Or if opposite sexes didn’t matter, would they be with that male? And I don’t care what anyone says…….they would be. I myself have trouble trying to differentiate between the idea of actually being these people or being beside these people.

I consider myself a heterosexual male and I have no problem with men being with men or women being with women. Love is love. But I also believe in the idea of falling in love with a person; not a sex. If sex wasn’t involved, I’d probably be with one of my guy friends (I’m just trying to make a point, humor me) and I’m not afraid to admit that. I’m very secure with my sexuality where I can say that. It’s funny even when I’ve talked to women about this. It seems that every women I breached this topic with has some kind of desire to be with Angelina Jolie, where I, a hetero-male, wouldn’t touch her with a 10 foot pole. Everybody is different. Everybody is attracted to different aspects in a significant other. It’s human nature.

Freud would probably have a field day with me right now, but I’m gonna lay my cards on the table and show who my ‘Man’ Crushes are.

John Cusack

I don’t know if it is my crush on “Cusack” the man or the characters he plays. He always seems to play the hopeless romantic failure and I can’t help but love that about him. Whether it be Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything… holding a radio over his head or Rob Thomas from High Fidelity bitching about “WHAT FUCKING IAN GUY?!?!?!” he remains the image of women’s hearts and men’s desire to be him. I find myself watching his movies and saying things like “Ione Skye, you suck. What the fuck did you do after this movie? Play a small role in Wayne’s World as Rob Lowe’s whorish fuck buddy? You had your chance at ‘the Sac’ (what I sometimes refer to John Cusack as; No there is nothing sexual about it) and you blew it. Slut!” I blame the woman, Ione Skye (who plays Diane Court) for fucking with the man John Cusack (who plays Lloyd Dobler) John Cusack drags me into his movies like it is actual reality. Not many actors do that for me either. The guy just rules and deserves a nice girl who will treat him right. Or me!

John Lennon

Lennon was my definition of someone I wanted to be someday. Musical, good looking, funny, smart, and a bit of a trouble maker. He was the kind of guy that would meet you at a pub, keep you laughing all night, bring you back to his place, have hot passionate sex with you, walk you outside to get you a cab, and never talk to you again. Looking past the fact that his music and lyrics were incredible, he had a great sense of humor. If you really want to see Lennon in his element, rent the movies A Hard Days’ Night and Help! You’ll see exactly what I mean. A lot of people said he died to soon, but I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I DO wish he was still around, but I think he would have gone nuts with our society today. I mean, if Ozzy didn’t do a reality show, maybe Lennon would have; you never know. This way, he stays young forever. At least, in my mind he does.

Jack Kerouac

A lot of people feel that James Dean or Elvis were the definition of ‘cool.’ Those are the same people who have never read anything by Kerouac. He defined ‘cool’ before it even wanted to be defined. How rad would it be to travel the country multiple times stopping at every bar, every party, every significant little aspect of life? Totally fucking rad. He’d appreciate you. He’d write you sonnets and letters from all aspects of his mind. He open his heart to you and let you in. He was also a bit crazy, which could make traveling across the country a little more exciting. Like Lennon, he also died too soon, but I honestly think he lived to long. He should have gone out with a blaze of glory “on the road” instead of passing out after his ump-teenth bottle of whiskey in Florida. Someday, we’ll have great conversations and endless bottle of wine together in heaven.

Daniel Johns

He’s a great song-writer, he’s got a cool accent, and kind of looks like a chick. He’s the fucking rock version of Taylor Hanson. You know, the idea of thinking he’s a girl and then realizing he’s not and questioning why you found a guy attractive. Silverchair has always been one of my favorite groups of all time. Daniel John’s fucking rules! Australia did a pretty good job with this cat.

Ken Vasoli

This kid is the bass player/front man for the pop punk band The Starting Line. My second punk rock show was Skate Fest in 1999 at the Worcester Palladium. Skate Fest was a punk rock day in early September which involved music in the club and skating ramps outside. It was awesome. I was going through a rough relationship and I needed some angry music to help me get through. Punk rock, thank you! After seeing bands like The Benjamins and the RX Bandits, I needed more straight truth lyrics; not lyrics hidden behind reggae beats and The Get Up Kids wannabes. Anyway, a still very underground band known as Thursday, who had since ‘undergroundly’ exploded, was playing upstairs. I opted to stay downstairs and watch a band whose name I didn’t know. It was the Starting Line and they fucking blew my mind. All my friends were trying to tell me that I should get with someone else to ease the blow of my relationship, but I knew I wasn’t ready. And then Kenny grabbed the mic. and said “This tune is for anyone who can’t move on yet.” I was awe struck. The dude was speaking right to me. And they played a song called Three’s A Charm; the chorus lyrics state, ”Forget me girl, I’m still recovering from her. It hurts so. I’m sorry girl, I’m in no shape to love. It’s not you, it’s her.” I felt so connected and like I should have written this fucking song. After, I got a chance to talk to him about music, relationships, and how much girls suck. He gave me an autograph, a hug, and told me to keep my chin up. Ever since then, all my punk rock friends teased me about having a huge crush on him. Jokes on them, I’m almost over him now.